Illustration for article titled In Biden’s America, You’re Going to Flick Your Furnace and Nothing Happens, Folks. Flicking Sometimes 10, 11, 12 Times

Photo: Mandel Ngan/AFP (Getty Images)

Folks, we told you it’s going to happen under Creepy Joe, the Democrat Party, they don’t want you to be able to go and turn on your water heater anymore. They’re gonna have you standing there just hitting that lever, that tiny little lever, over and over and it doesn’t get hot, the water? It doesn’t get hot. Your furnace, we used to burn things, big beautiful flames that we’d stare at and dream of burning more. Remember when we used to be great at burning things?

Your favorite president rolled back that red tape, those endless rules and regulations on efficient water heaters and furnaces. The rule books just went on and on like you wouldn’t believe but we cut them bigly. Now, Joe thinks he’s gonna roll it back, and your house won’t be hot any more. I talked to a fireman, a big guy with muscles from here to wherever, he was crying. He said “President Trump, I’m not gonna have a job anymore because the Democrats turned off the heat for everyone.” You know what that means? It means they’re gonna ration fire. It’s just gonna be a tiny little flame, even though they have so much fire out in California that they don’t know what to do with it. Not on my watch, of course, but yours.

Joe is going to order the Department of Energy, what some people are calling the Department of Low Energy. They’re going to make it so that they can just order you what kind of furnace to use, your water heater, the Deep State Energy Star rating, everything. Per the National Resources Defense Council:

The Biden administration is proposing important changes to the Department of Energy’s (DOE) appliance efficiency program, taking the first steps necessary for repairing damage done by the Trump administration and making it easier to save consumers money and keep pollution out of our air. These changes to DOE’s “Process Rule”—which sets the framework for how the agency regulates appliances and equipment to ensure that everyone in the country has access to energy efficient products—are a continuation of the Biden administration’s strong start on smarter energy use.

[…] One of the changes made by the Trump DOE was setting an arbitrary baseline for “significant savings” to establish a new standard. About 40 percent of the standards already on the books today could not have met it, which means consumers and businesses would have paid several billion dollars more on their utility bills and there would have been more power plant pollution associated with running less efficient appliances and equipment. Those standards are among those responsible for already saving each U.S. household an average of $500 annually on their energy bills… DOE’s new proposal would repeal these harmful, unnecessary thresholds.

They’re gonna make you use the efficient appliances. You know why they say it’s efficient? It’s because it doesn’t turn on any more. That’s what the Radical Left thinks efficiency is.

They hate this country, and they hate our proud gas and oil industry, they want to go to windmills because of the greatest scientific fraud ever perpetrated on the climate. Can you believe that? They want you to heat your home with windmills, blowing on a tiny flame. Crazy Joe, sometimes I call him Tilting Joe, because he tilts at the windmills that block our beautiful views on the biggest golf courses you’ve ever seen.

Lock her up and thank you Cleveland for your support!

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